It’s been another week (almost our third) of job scouring and we are starting to lose a little hope. I’m sure that if we had more time we would have a lot more opportunity but we plan to leave mid-April to head home for a couple of weeks for a quick visit before we head up to Yellowstone to start our jobs for the summer. So that only gives us about 7 more weeks here. Even with multiple promising interviews, we now have no further leads. This about the time I start to freak out a little bit. This is the time we start questioning our move here… our finances… the what the heck are we doings?!?
Jordan is flying back to California for four days this weekend to surprise his family and be with Justin, his best friend, on his 30th birthday. Justin has flown across oceans just to be with Jordan on his birthdays over the years, so we feel like it is so important for Jordan to be with him on such a monumental day! Because people and relationships are everything to us.
Oh….. wait.. a lightbulb just went on in our heads! As Jordan and I started discussing all the questions we had about New Mexico, we remembered something; Our lives are all about people and relationships! Three years ago we traded the comforts and conveniences of a settled home for relationships. We gave up the traditional, reliable lifestyle so we could discover beauty in people and in nature. We gave up the security of possessions and steady jobs for more time. We traded money and nice things so we could better love on people. We made a vow to God that we would be his hands and his feet. That we would not tie ourselves down to the world so He could freely use us.
By remembering all of these things we have said and surely experienced over the past years we are again humbled to our knees. Are we truly willing to do all that we have vowed? Are we wholly and completely willing to allow God to be our provider? Do we trust Him even as our bank account dwindles away? Will He not feed us as he provides for even the ravens and crows? And do we really think that even as He opened the door to New Mexico that he would leave us here to drown? …….. Or is He giving us an opportunity to do what we have asked? To trust Him fully so we could see His love and beauty in people and in nature.
We prayerfully thought over this the next few days, seeking wisdom and understanding. And just before Jordan left for California we were filled with an unrelenting peace.
Our tax return replenished our bank account as if God was laughing at our concern with finances. The door was opened to start work a month early in Yellowstone, if we gave up our trip home to California. He had it all figured out the whole time. We were the ones lacking in faith. Worrying and stressing over something that was not even in our control in the first place. And now we are free to stay here for the next month, free from employment and busy schedules, to give us the time to pour ourselves into our relationships. We now can find and REALLY enjoy the gems of New Mexico, in people and in nature.
It is as if our whole purpose in being here is a sweet reminder of faith. A confirmation of why we do what we do. A reminder that money and worldly security are not what we seek. When we surrender ourselves to Him, he promises to never forsake us and to always provide.
Although we feel a little embarrassed we have to learn this lesson time and time again, we sit tonight with joy and peace in our hearts. We are undeserving of all that we have. So with grateful hearts we count our many blessings. For full stomachs and a roof over our heads. For the opportunities to love and be loved by so many incredible people. For time to seek out hidden gems that would otherwise be left undiscovered. For security and peace in knowing that our lives are not in our hands.
We may not have the most stylish clothes, the newest technology, a big house filled with lots of things, a full bank account or a retirement fund; but we consider ourselves truly RICH and blessed for the life that we get to live!